news:9mafqm$stc$1@neptunium.btinternet.com...
>
> "Michael Cunningham" <superman@uksf.org.**NOSPAM**uk> wrote in message
> > Yeah, that's it, Terry.  I've known paperclips with better comprehension
> > abilities.
>
> But not that one on the Microsoft Help programs.  He's a total fuckwit.
God
> only knows how he got through the interview.

I think he just popped up when they least expected it, and before they knew
what was happening he'd changed the whole job description file. That
paperclip, he comes across all nicey nicey and stupid, but don't let him out
of your sight. He's a devious little bastard, with a _real_ nasty streak.

Personally, I keep mine locked in the recycle bin, where he can run riot
without doing any harm to anything important. Every now and then, I stuff a
couple more word and excel documents through the opening for him to tear
into, and it seems to keep him happy. It's hard, finding new volunteers for
sacrifice every week, sometimes I have to just pick something at random.
Last week, I lost my CV to the beast. The week before the unfortunate victim
was a monthly stocktake spreadsheet I stole from work.

Trouble is, it's a pretty short term solution. We may have reached an uneasy
understanding for the time being, but all the while I know he's getting
bigger, and stronger, and nastier. Soon he'll outgrow his little waste-bin,
and I'll probably have to get some kind of padded cell programme written
specially for him, with a continual internet file stream connected. Then
what? His own hard-drive?

It never stops. It just never stops.

Joe