news:amt6jh$8t30a$1@ID-146919.news.dfncis.de...
> You just don't get it, do you Mikey? It's sweet really, and in a way I'm not
> sure I should tell you this, but I feel like bursting a bubble and yours is
> nearest.

<Snip wonderfully compelling and soon to be archived story>

Oh, Joe.  Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe.  That's what I love about you
Mikeytainers -- You're so naive.

Don't you think I know, Joe?  About the Mikeytainers?  About the
contracts?  About everything?  Of course I know.  I may only be a
Mikey but I'm a Mikey who lives and breathes.  I see things.  I feel
things.  You see, Joe, you may be my favourite Mikeytainer, but you're
not my first.  Far from it.  When I first arrived here, the Mikeytainers
used to be given short-term contracts -- never much more than a
couple of weeks -- because I was just so difficult to entertain.

Everyone took their turn -- Poleson, Crankshaw, Doc, Zeigermann,
Sibon, Ben, to name just a few.  But I ran through them all pretty
quickly and we soon started to run out of Mikeytainers so it was
decided something different was required.  And so, a long-term
appointment was named.  For two years.  This one was slightly
different from the rest.  This Mikeytainer was a little more effeminate
than the others.  "Vicky", she said her name was.  And it worked out
great.  She kept me constantly occupied by being mean to me, being
sarcastic towards me, calling me an "apathetic wanker" and even flashing
me from time-to-time, just to make sure I didn't go and pick the perfect
fantasy football team.  We became true friends and I felt sure we'd post
together until we grew old and grey.  Little did I know Vicky was just
seeing out her contract, waiting until Autumn 2000, when she'd be off to
retire on a tropical island.

And so, Autumn 2000 arrived.  Vicky told me all about her Mikeytainer
gig and I was heartbroken.  Well, until my new Mikeytainer arrived.  I
never dreamed I'd find another Mikeytainer like Vicky but in some ways,
this one was even better.  Myself and Joe would play for hours on end
and he didn't even have to be mean to me to keep me entertained.  We'd
make fun of Zeigermann's towel, we'd recommend things, we'd nominate
posts for the archive, he'd say I was too old for newsgroup football and
I'd say he wasn't as funny as he used to be.  But deep down, contract or
no contract, I think we meant the world to each other.

That's why I wasn't worried when he told me his contract was coming
to an end.  You see, all I had to do was look around.  Poleson, Crankshaw,
Doc, Zeigermann, Sibon and Ben were all still here.  Maybe not at the peak
of their careers but they were here.  Even Vicky had turned down retirement
to spend more time with me.  Oh, sure, she had hit rock-bottom with "jokes"
like the "resent/re-sent" fiasco but she was here because she couldn't leave
me.
You see, Joe, the man in your dream never told you that Mikeytaining is a
seductress.

He offers you the wealth and the luxury because he knows you'll never take
it.  Yeah, you'll hand over the reins to ST, JdS or Gra next year but when
the
final boarding call for flight 14 to Honolulu comes, guess where you'll be?
Here.  With me.  You can check out, Joe, but you can never leave.  When
you're a Mikeytainer, you're a Mikeytainer for life.  Just ask Poleson.  Or
Cranshaw.  Or Doc.  Or Zeigermann.  Or Sibon.  Or Ben.  Or Vicky.


--
Mike

http://www.overanalyse.com