news:3ec40eb6.8566498@news.CIS.DFN.DE...
> So I'm being taken by my daughter to a concert of popular beat combos
> at the weekend:
>
> Belle & Sebastian
> Delgados
> Mull Historical Society
>
> How groovy is that?

That's totally extra, Paul. Top banana.

> All uksf advice about what to wear and how to behave at such events
> will be much appreciated.

I believe I can do it and ting.

Golf trousers are the top fashion at the moment, anyone who's wearing those
gets a lot of respect at such events. Aside from that, lots and lots of
leather, with like, tassels and stuff. Make sure you take some white gloves
and a whistle, and some tools with which to construct a succession of small
boxes during particularly "gnarly" sections of the concert. You'll probably
be expected to do the hucklebuck at some point, so make sure you're
comfortable with that. If you don't know how to do it, then you're out of
luck.

Now, certain members of the audience will have taken the precaution of
writing the names of the band members on their faces in felt-tip. You might
want to do the same. I've taken the trouble of researching them for you:

Mull Historical Society:    John, Paul, George and Hitler
Belle and Sebastian:    Mugsy and Sparky

The crowd at such events is generally predominately "pro-war", so a Stars
and Stripes flag or two, maybe with some good, strong, aggressive slogan or
other on it, will help to show people that you mean well.. A good starting
point might be "Syria- stop being tricky or I _will_ personally come round
to your house and fuck you up". It's what you call an ice-breaker.

Lastly, have fun, and just shake it like it aint' no thang.. However the
music takes you, just go with it. Move freely. Pretend to be an acorn,
growing into a mighty tree, or an aeroplane circling over Heathrow, or a
lobster trying to open a bank account, whatever takes you. Just remember,
it's your happening too, and you can dig it any which way but loose.

Knock 'em dead.

Joe
--
You have lacked a figure outside the sign of the Joe?