news:3v5siaF142pt1U1@individual.net...
> You don't spend anywhere near as much time as you should listening to my
> mandolin solos.

Nobody does, Ben, not even you if you're honest.  Your naked mandolin solos
have been clinically proven to bring limitless joy _directly_ into people's
lives.

In the future, everyone in the world will be addicted to Ben Nunn's naked
mandolin solos, and doctors will advise parents to get their children hooked
as early as possible.  There'll even be clinics where you can go and tell
them that you aren't addicted to BNNMS (or 'Benomads' , to give them their
official drug name) and they'll give you the help you need to wean you back
onto the Benomads and back into normal society.

On the street, they'll change hands for upwards of 10p, and be referred to
by such varied monikers as 'Joyvibez', 'Horsecocknoises', 'Happy Happy
Massive Mental Madness Music' and 'Ghey'.  "I scored some good ghey today,
wanna come round and get monged on it?" etc.  There will be no more fighting
and wars'n'shit, or poverty, or spazzmongs, or .pdf files, just one great
fuck off big world of billions of people all pulling together to make sure
that chocolate and beer and films and everything else can all be as good as
Benomads.

Eventually, everything will be brilliant, and even the fattest of gheys will
have an incredible sex life and a lovely family.  All because of Ben Nunn
and the art he gave his life to sometime in the olden days when there was
still imbalance and cuntiness.  There'll be statues of him everywhere.

Way, way before that, though, there'll be a film about it all called 'Ben
Nunn's Excellent Adventure' which makes me rich.

Then Ben Nunn dies, then the rest of it happens.


--
Joe

(Poleson for manager)