On 1 Apr, 22:05, Osbourne Ruddock <strike...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Some lovely Premiership games this weekend. All beautiful and hairy and big
> teethed and Argentinian he, er, they were.
>
> So hugs here if you will...

My arms are long, my hands are broad,
My balls are quite well spent,
For tucking away a vital kick,
One hug to Darren Bent.

He hails from Argentina,
With scars all 'pon his chest,
Of all teh Baby Bentley crew,
He surely is the best,
I'll tell you something strange though,
I don't know if you've noticed,
Stare closely at his quirky face,
For he looks like Lou Ferrigno.

One hug to Tevez.

Long and lean and tall and lithe,
He brushed the gunner's well aside,
Their many youngsters blown away,
By Crouchy's impossibly long stride.

One hug to the world's tallest, thinnest, most self-deprecating
Premiership player.

Roaring with fiery rage as at him they flung the book,
Constantly bad refereeing was blowing his season to f.ck,
His demeanour shot, his hair ske-whiff, his underpants awry,
His only thought to endure these days was eating another pie.

One hug to Wigan and Paul Jewell. Bless.

And so we march on in joy,
While the man becomes a boy.
His move from the toffees they told,
Would enhance his skills twenty-fold,

The pundits shout and wail and scream,
'His form of late has been otterly obscene',
One consolation when he gets home,
Is his chance to eat Coleen's duff cuisine.

One hug to Wayne Wooney. Minus one hug to me for teh ghey poet
laureate.