The odds for each week's round of betcunting will be posted each week, in a thread entitled "[SBL 10/11] - week (x) odds", with (x) being the number of the week that we're on. All entrant's current balances will be listed in that post as well. The HOHY's opening post in that thread will hereafter be referred to as "the 'odds' post". Entrants then place their betcunts by replying to the odds post, scores are calculated after all the relevant matches are played and the results for that week will be posted by the House in a thread entitled "[SBL 10/11] - week (x) results". A minimum of ten fixtures will be listed by the House every week (unless they aren't), each with three possible outcomes (for instance: home-win, draw, away-win), including all Saturday Premiership fixtures. Where fewer than ten Premiership fixtures are available, other betcunts will be listed by the house to make up the numbers. These can be on anything the House chooses, providing there are three possible outcomes. In most cases, only odds listed at the following site will be selected for betcunting: http://odds.bestbetting.com/football Any odds sourced from a site other than this one will come with a link for verification, although at all times all betcunts will be taken as listed in the weekly "odds" post, and no exception will be taken into account for odds which are skewed or broken, or altered by the website prior to kick-off. You'll have to take that up with the website. To place a bet, simply post a reply in the "week (x) odds" thread, stating your 'stake' (the amount of Youks you wish to bet), the fixture on which you wish to bet them, and the outcome you think will come out. You may place no more than one bet in each round[1], but you can choose to stake any amount of your current balance (whole numbers only) on your chosen outcome. Only bets placed in the specified thread will be accepted. In all cases, all official correspondence with the House must take place in the current (or most recent) weekly odds or results thread, hereafter referred to as 'the appropriate thread'. If at any time your stake exceeds your balance, that betcunt will be unacceptable and an amendment will, deadline permitting, be requested by the House. No exception will be made for typos or silly buggers. In the interests of nice formatting, the perfect betcunting slip will have all of the initial post snipped except your balance and the fixture on which you're betting, and your reply will clearly state your stake and your chosen outcome. For instance: ==================== > Home Draw Away > Arsenal vs Charlton 1.2 4.5 12 > Mikey 14 BET: 14 Youks on Arsenal (home), please. ==================== Scoring: All entrants will start with an opening Week 1 balance of 10 Youks. If you win your betcunt, then your stake is multiplied by the odds you chose and returned to your balance. Scores are rounded off to the nearest Youk, with .5 being rounded up of course you cunts. If you lose your betcunt, you lose your stake. Simple as that. == Deadline: The deadline to place betcunts will be as stated in that week's 'odds' post. In most cases, the House will set a deadline of one hour before the advertised kick-off of the week's first match*. The time you are deemed by the House to have placed your betcunt will be the time Google says it first appeared in the newsgroup in the appropriate thread. Any bets placed after the deadline will be null and void, any bets placed in the wrong place, within the deadline or after the deadline, will also be null and void. One minute (or more) after the deadline will be deemed 'after the deadline'. Exactly _on_ the deadline will be deemed 'within the deadline'. *Window of Cautious Opportunity: After some considerable debate and consideration, the House has taken the decision to keep the Window of Cautious Opportunity for this season, with one minor adjustment: The Window is now only two hours wide. This means that whoever is in first place in the final week of the season will be set a deadline of two hours earlier than the rest of the field. This is, as so eloquently debated by Dat, Mikey, Ben, Sid and Osbourne, an imperfect rule with nothing but imperfect alternatives. It is also, however, a necessary rule, in that it prevents first place from placing a 'covering betcunt' which guarantees that they retain first place for the final week. The House sincerely hopes that this is to everyone's relative satisfaction and apologises to those who hoped for better. == Top-up: At the start of each round of Betcunting, you'll all* be given a 5 Youk top-up by the House. That's good customer service, that is. *Tiny Penis: If you fail to place a valid bet in any given week**, you are awarded a Tiny Penis and you do _not_ get a top-up at the start of the next week. Cunt. **Microcock: If you fail to place a bet for three consecutive weeks, you are awarded a Microcock, and you automatically Cash Your Chips***. ***Cash Your Chips: If you don't want to play anymore, you may Cash Your Chips at any time. Simply register a bet in the betting thread as "Cash My Chips", and your balance at that point is frozen. You will not receive Tiny Penises or Micrococks for non-participation from then on, and your balance will be your score at the end of the season. It is possible to win the SBL this way. Bastards. == Additional rules: Voodoo Accused: Should you win a betcunt on the longest (or joint longest) odds posted that week, you will be Voodoo Accused. The House will then select a Betcunt just for you, for midweek, and as such will provide an opportunity for you to disprove your Voodoo. == Poleson Week of Righteousness: At certain junctures throughout the season, the House will announce that round of Betcunting to be a 'Poleson Week of Righteousness'. This means that you will have the opportunity to predict not just the outcome, but the score as well. Those who get everything inarguably right will have their closing balances multiplied by 1.2. == Additional bonuses: The House may choose to offer additional bonus rounds, such as Wild Willy Wagers, Vicky's Broad Flange, MingMongSodomy, Quantum Betcunts or anything else the House devises, as and when it deems appropriate. In all cases, the House will endeavour to make such bonus rounds equally opportunitous to all contestants and without 'inside' information on any part. == Joining the comp mid season: Any cunt can join the competition at any time, simply by posting a betcunt in the appropriate thread. They will start with 5 Youks. == Froup absence: If you are going to be away from the froup for a while, this needn't mean you can't betcunt. You have two options. 1) Advance betcunting: This option allows you to be not just on that week's fixtures, but also place one (or a succession of ) advance betcunt(s), clearly marked *ADVANCE BETCUNT* followed by your choice of match and stake for each successive round of Saturday fixtures on which you intend to bet. Odds will be taken as eventually listed by the House. The House does not take responsibility for cancelled or re-arranged fixtures (including those re-scheduled to Sunday), and neither will it accept subsequent cancellation or alteration of a valid betcunt which has been placed in advance. The House will not apply the Tiny Penis or Microcock rules in the case of re-arranged fixtures, recording instead an incidence of 'No Betcunt' on your slip, however both Tiny Penis and Microcock rules are applicable in the case of bets placed mistakenly (or otherwise) on fixtures which were are not scheduled for a Saturday at the time of betcunting. So check your fucking dates carefully. Where necessary, the House will seek clarification, but 'unclear bets' rules apply at all times. 2) Ghey Love Betfisting: Posters may wish to sensationally *NOMINATE* another poster to place betcunts on their behalf. As such, full control of that posters account is handed over to the nominee until such time as they are sensationally *SACKED*. As with all correspondence with the House, any such *NOMINATING* or *SACKING* must take place in the appropriate thread. For the duration of that nominee's tenure, they will have sole responsibility for getting your betcunt in on time, and no amount of private or public correspondence between the poster and their nominated betfister will be taken into account by the House. == Betting by mailweb: There is to be no betting by mailweb. All of the SBL, including betcunting, advance betcunts, ghey love and anything else, will take place right here in UKSF. This is a plain-text comp for plain-text people. == Unclear bets: Although there is an officially endorsed, standardised format for betcunting, the HOHY will endeavour to accept all bets from all cunts providing they are in the appropriate thread. However, if you want to fuck about and play silly buggers, just be aware that if your betcunt is in any way unclear or open to misinterpretation, it will be null and void. The House will endeavour to seek clarification wherever possible, but any issues still unresolved by the deadline will result in a null bet. The House's decision will be final in this and all other matters. Tiny Penis and Microcock rules will apply. == Changing your mind: You may not change your mind. Unless requested by the House to clarify an unclear bet, your first valid posted Betcunt will be accepted for that week regardless of any subsequent mind-changing and bet re-posting. Don't even try it. == [1] Super Sunday Double-Betcunt: In the event of a round of betcunting being played on a Sunday, that round will be a Super Sunday Double Betcunt. This means you'll get to place two bets on one round of matches, should you wish, providing they are on two different fixtures. These can either be two specified and non-variable numerical amounts which do not exceed your opening balance in total, or one specified numerical non-variable amount, and one "All My Youks" bet which will mean that All Your Youks, including any winnings from the first bet, are placed on your second bet. You may not bet "half my winnings" or "all but ten of my Youks" on your second bet or any other stupid dumbarse nonsense like that. Stick it up your bollocks. Obviously, if you bet All Your Youks on the first bet, the only second bet you can place is another All Your Youks. == Appeals: In the event of perceived wrongdoing by the House, any betcunter has the right to appeal. Any official complaint must be posted in the most recent SBL thread, though, and each case must be stated clearly within one post. The House will then, after careful consideration, post it's reply and it's final ruling. The finality of this is final. == Right, I think that just about covers it. The HOHY hopes that it has worded these rules in such a way as to negate possible controversy or open-interpretation, but in the quite probable event that we've fucked it up again and the shit hits the blurry black Irish Liverpool fan mid-season, again, we will endeavour to resolve any ensuing issues fairly, diplomatically and to the greater good of the Youksef and the SBL. Again. We are a very lucky froup.
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